Speak Stiltedly and Wear a Yellow Shirt

She Said Her Name Was Saffron, a filk by Marc Gunn, is briefly free at The FuMP.

GeekPress linked a free filk: Singularitarian by Charlie Kam. There’s allegedly an mp3, but it’s actually in some nasty MicroSoft feed format.

Get it while it’s up: Voltaire’s The Sexy Data Tango is available from Fugly. I doubt it’s a legal copy. You can buy the real thing from Projeck: darkwave.

Gmail RSS link of the day: Ask Yahoo answers the eternal question, What is the origin of the term “hands down”?

It’s that time of year again! Suffer with Seema as she wonders about another year of holiday shoes. Or celebrate the solstice with the H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society’s holiday album, A Very Scary Solstice. They have three free Cthulhu Carols to download.

Filk of the day: Mineral Rights by Bob Kanefsky

You can download some filk classics at Prometheus Music and hear some others streamed. I highly recommend Dog on the Moon [realaudio] by Garry Novikoff.

It’s a lovely filk I wish I’d filked myself, but instead Mustang Sally sings the last word on fanfic hate.

I thought I’d posted all my random leftover filks to ASC, but at 11:48 p.m., I noticed one last filk in my UFO (unfinished object) folder. It was Yesterday, When I Was New, and it needed work. But after my 24-hour filk-a-thon to finish The Sound of Borgness, twelve minutes seemed like more than enough to polish up one nearly complete filk. I posted it at 11:59 p.m., just in time for the awards deadline.

I posted a few other filks: a slightly altered version of Killing Me Softly, the old standard I Fought the Borg, and what I considered to be the two strongest filks from The Delta Quadrant’s Greatest Hits / Borgstory: “A Ship with No Plan” and “Borg Transwarp Highway.”

Here’s a draft of The Sound of Borgness. The final version will be posted this weekend at the URL indicated and ASC. The first two filks aren’t my best work, but don’t let them discourage you. It only gets funnier as you go along. Headers are here, the whole shebang is in the full entry.

Title: The Sound of Borgness
Author: Jemima
Contact: webmaster of jemimap.cjb.net
Series: VOY
Rating: PG for implied monkey sex
Codes: C/7, Icheb/Naomi, Mezoti, Azan, Rebi, Borg baby, filk
Summary: Filk of the musical “The Sound of Music”,
starring Seven of Nine as Fraulein Maria.
Archive: ASC only, but feel free to link to
http://jemimap.ficml.org/voy/filk/borgness.html

Disclaimer: This parody of Rogers and Hammerstein musical “The Sound
of Music” is protected as such by the copyright laws of
the United States of America.

Notes: Azan and Rebi were the Borg boys, Mezoti was the girl.
Thanks to T’Other Liz, KC, Kelly, and Seema for rhymes and
adjectives, one-syllable nouns, and kiss-off idioms.
The monkey sex is all Seema’s fault.

Date: January, 2004

Cast of characters:
Maria - Seven of Nine
Captain von Trapp - Chakotay
Mother Abbess - Borg Queen / Neelix
Nuns - drones
Rolf - Icheb
Liesl - Naomi
The Children - the Borg children (Icheb, Mezoti, Azan, Rebi, Borg baby)

Non-singing roles, for reference:
The Baroness - Janeway
Uncle Max - Tuvok

List of filks:
The Sound of Borgness (The Sound of Music)
Drone Seven (Maria)
Borg Perfection (I Have Confidence In Me)
Our Favorite Things (My Favorite Things)
“I” Not “We” (Do-Re-Mi)
Sixish Looking Elevenish (Sixteen Going on Seventeen)
The Lonely XO (The Lonely Goatherd)
So Long, Bug Off (So Long, Farewell)
Play Ev’ry Organ (Climb Ev’ry Mountain)
Something Tight (Something Good)
Voyager (Edelweiss)

(more…)

Fossil of the day: a 428 million year old millipede in Scotland

I’ve finally written a Stargate filk. You can find One Brass Horus in the SG-1 section. Here’s a preview to see if you know the original, “One Tin Soldier”:

I’ve also put up The Perfect Setup, the sequel to The Universe Survival Guide. I don’t think it compares to the original, but there were demands for a sequel and Bitter!Jack The Muse is easily influenced in his current state.

Badfic of the day: Bad Coffee by Miss Alena Louis Watts, Warren, Me. (1916)

Unlike Seema, I haven’t heard the dreaded Christmas Shoes carol, nor have I seen the movie. The songs of the season drive Veronica batty, but I don’t mind them. They’re easy enough to tune out after the first thousand renditions of Silent Night.

‘Twas the season to be filky, but now that I’m semi-retired I even ignored a challenge to filk a Stargate Christmas carol. Most of the good carols are already filks of old German drinking songs or of Greensleeves, so why refilk them? A filk is just a song about an unusual topic set to a stolen tune. Though the usual topic is science fiction or fantasy, deities being born under strange circumstances certainly qualifies.

But of course now the party’s over; the filking season will return at its regularly scheduled time next Thanksgiving. Until then, you might want to tune in to Filk Radio.