Speak Stiltedly and Wear a Yellow Shirt

I really need a Lego category for these things… Here’s a Lego Galactica Clusterfrak from io9.

Rest in peace, Ricardo Montalbán.

From the our-pron-is-erotica files: a British slash writer is up on obscenity charges for “a kind of splatter-core horror-porn tribute to a British girl band who can’t sing in tune without digital processing.” Hide your Twincest, fellas…

I almost started reading Pavane, a well-known alternate history novel, today. Instead, I stumbled across this review of the season 7 Firefly premiere, filled with all the character-assassinating, plot-twisting, Joss-moonlighting, don’t-turn-into-a-snake-it-never-helps pain that never was. Or as a commenter put it,

So, even in your fantasy, Joss fails you for several seasons of Firefly? You are way too cynical!

I wrote a Stargate/Voyager crossover once, but GateWorld has news of a much bigger project: Stargate Universe.

I’ve added two new (or at least newly revived, betaed and uploaded) episode additions to the Firefly page. Whupping and Catalyzer leave only four episodes and the movie to go.

She Said Her Name Was Saffron, a filk by Marc Gunn, is briefly free at The FuMP.

You can find Serenity: The Other Half on Dark Horse Comics’ MySpace page. The browncoats at FireflyFans.net recommend that you read page 5 very carefully.

At first I thought this was some kind of programming joke, but it’s even funnier than that: Python Trek.

I’m not at all convinced that River’s more unusual speech patterns are a likely consequence of her illness. She seems to be channelling Spock as often as she’s spouting nursery rhymes; for example, in her reaction to Simon’s birthday (105 “Out of Gas”):

“Day” is a vestigial mode of time measurement based on solar cycles. It’s not applicable.

I didn’t get you anything.

Nevertheless it works for her, and I was particularly struck by the poetry of her apple bits speech. So here’s the whole scene (109 “War Stories”):

INT. SERENITY - SIMON’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The door slides open and Simon enters, seeing River sitting on a bunk.

SIMON
Whoa! [Mei-mei… - “little sister”…]

SIMON covers a shivering RIVER with a blanket.

SIMON
How you doing?

RIVER
I threw up.

SIMON
I’m sorry. It’s a side effect. We
just have to find the right treatment
for you. How do you feel now?

RIVER
Going… Going back like… apple bits,
coming back up. Chaos.

SIMON
But you felt okay this morning?

RIVER
Played with Kaylee.
(smiles)
Sun came out, and I walked on my feet
and heard with my ears. I ate the bits,
the bits stayed down, and I work. I
function like I’m a girl.
(upset)
I hate it because I know it’ll go away.
The sun goes dark and chaos has come
again. Bits. Fluids. What am I?!

SIMON
(hugs her)
You are my beautiful sister.

RIVER
(sniffling)
I threw up on your bed.

SIMON
(fuckity)
Yep. Definitely my sister.

The Urban Dictionary does not really clarify “fuckity” as a stage direction…