Speak Stiltedly and Wear a Yellow Shirt

On the T this morning I heard someone talking about the Charlie Card on a cell phone—giving out those top-secret subway fare collection secrets for anyone to hear. Apparently there was some sort of demo or lecture about the new fare cards. Most of what I learned contradicted the last batch of happy RFID rumors I’d heard.

So here’s the scoop:

1. The cards go bodily through the machine–in one end and out the other, not through a slider. This means no more hole-punching your subway pass and sticking it on your keyring.
2. You can buy Charlie cards with T tokens.
3. Not all the readers will be changed over at the same time, so if you have a new Charlie card you really can get stuck at Quincy Adams with no token to get out with—just like Charlie. And you’ll never return, no, you’ll never return, and your fate will be unlearned. You will ride forever ‘neath the streets of Boston, etc.
4. No humans will sell Charlie cards, only the machines.

That’s all I remember, but I’ll keep my ears open for more rumors.

If you’re in the area, don’t miss out on the upcoming tax holiday weekend this Saturday and Sunday. It’s always a good day to buy a new iPod…

The Globe has a collision follow-up story with a pretty picture of a Green Line escape hatch. They say the second train wasn’t a Breda, which leads me to wonder what would have happened if it had been a Breda. It might still be wedged into the tunnel now.

The President of the Carmen’s Union says “I find it highly unlikely that it’s operator error.” In the real world it’s always your fault when you rear-end someone. Working for the T doesn’t change the laws of physics.

I discount the rumors of a body on the tracks. There was no time for the conspiracy to move it before we rolled on to Arlington, squishing nothing.

I got on a three-car train this morning. I thought it was a little late (that is, past rush hour) for a three-car trolley, but the Ways of the T are Mysterious and Not to be Questioned. Maybe because my train was unexpectedly long, it was rear-ended by another train in the tunnel between Copley and Arlington stations at around 9:30 am. (We were not in Arlington station yet, as has been reported in the media.)

Fortunately for yours truly, I was in the first car out of three, and it was an old train. It felt like we ran over something. Our hardy train continued on to Arlington where we stood for a while. Then the police and the firemen started coming down into the station, and the conductor tossed us all out with a vague promise of buses upstairs. (I didn’t start riding the T yesterday, lady!)

More firemen were swarming upstairs and on the street, and they treated one conductor, who seemed shaken but unhurt. I hung around for a bit eavesdropping on the firemen to figure out what happened, even though I was worried about being so close to the T entrance and whatever smelled like it was burning down there. Once I heard it was a collision (and not a squishing or a bomb or smallpox) and the TV cameras showed up, I started walking to Park Street.

On the way, I met a passenger from the other train. It wasn’t so lucky. The other train derailed (which means it was a Breda), and its passengers came out at Copley and had even further to walk to Park Street and continuing service.

When we got to Park, the whole place was swarming with T personnel, T vehicles, cops, cop cars, and Green Line replacement buses. A cop wouldn’t let us down to the outbound (westbound) Green Line platform, so I thought I’d be walking to Cambridge. But I asked one of the many swarming T personnel, and he said I could go into the inbound (eastbound) entrance. I told my sob story to the poor T babe in the booth, and she let me in for free. (I only have a bus pass, so I can’t board the subway at underground stops.)

Note that if all the trains involved had been hardy old Kinki Sharyos like mine, we could have kept going to Park Street in the trolley–we made it to Arlington fine–and I’d still be wondering now who we squished down there.

The MBTA, of course, is describing the collision and derailment as “operational difficulties,” but Channel 5 tells the ugly truth.

If you’re paying close attention, you may spot the one poster up at Park Street announcing the end of Night Owl bus service. The last run will be this coming Friday, after which all T-riders will have to conform to the early-to-bed, early-to-rise subway schedule.

For those of you who don’t know them, subway hours are 5am to 12:45am, give or take 15 minutes depending on the line. Service starts about an hour later on Sundays, but no longer runs an hour later on Friday and Saturday nights like it used to way back when.

Plan your drinking and not-driving accordingly.

It’s not too late to feed your face at the Jimmy Fund Scooper Bowl, an all-you-can-eat ice-cream festival June 7-9, 11:30 a.m. - 6:00 p.m, at City Hall Plaza (Government Center), Boston. Bring $7 and your appetite.

Veronica, I, and an undisclosed third party went to CraftBoston this weekend. I got a cool Hilary Law bag and saw some other neat stuff. Here are the few web links I managed to collect:

• Hilary Law Textile Design
• Iron Works of Art
• Yellow House Studio

Five or six NStar trucks were parked on my corner when I got off the T last night, so I immediately wondered whether the electric company had electrocuted yet another dog. Besides the two most recent incidents leading to the formation of the Mayor’s Fried Puppy Task Force, there were a couple in the North End last year and who knows how many more? Someone needs to start a watchdog website devoted to local dog electrocutions.

Two of the trucks were still there this morning.

According to the Boston Metro, the MBTA is considering doing away with the thirty-year tradition of free outbound rides on the Green Line. While this isn’t a surprising move financially, the reason behind it is. The T apparently believes that the new “Charlie Card” (along the lines of NYC’s MetroCard) will speed fare collection enough to resume charging those of us who have slipped though the cracks in the name of expediency all these years.

All I can say is, that’s the best joke I’ve heard since the fare increase.

[Update] Apparently the Charlie Card is more like the DC SmarTrip RFID-ish system than the MetroCard slot-sucking readers, in which case it may actually perform as advertised.

Apology of the Day: The management apologizes for the lack of blog yesterday. WordPress was 404 for unknown reasons.

I’m thinking that the folks from the Sellafield plant should check Boston for their missing plutonium. Maybe it’s powering our Amazing Blizzard Snow that won’t go away no matter how warm it gets. I think the remaining snow has reached the density of plutonium.