Archive for January, 2004

Fortune Cookies

Monday, January 5th, 2004

Muppet of the day: Grover is bitter

My favorite Terminal.app, iTerm, now produces those old Unix fortune cookies, thanks to a macosxhint. Since the instructions there aren’t all that clear, here’s how you do it:

  1. Use fink to install the cookies. Type the following at the command line in Terminal.app or iTerm: fink install fortune-mod
  2. Call it from your .login or .profile file. Create the file in a plain text editor - emacs, pico, whatever - or use cat. See the macosxhint if you need instructions on using pico. If you don’t know which file you need (.login is for tcsh, .profile for bash), just make both of them. All the file has to contain is the line /sw/bin/fortune

Now whenever you open a Terminal window or an iTerm tab, you’ll get your fortune cookie. If you don’t have fink, see the macosxhint for a build of the fortune program.

I noticed that Earthlink now has an OSX version of their accelerator (part of Total Access 2004). I’m usually on a dialup, so I considered installing it. But I know how these thing work - mainly by compressing images and aggressive caching - and how they go wrong. I already get enough aggressive caching from Safari. I don’t need it happening on a proxy server at Earthlink’s end.

I think I’m going to go with PithHelmet instead. I figure the real slowdown in browsing is the stuff I don’t want to see - ads. Instead of accelerating the ads on their way to me, PithHelmet will quash any outgoing ad requests before they outgo. I used to use privoxy to block ads, but privoxy didn’t make it onto the new mac. I had the feeling that running a local proxy was too much work for my tired old mac. PithHelmet is the new, Safari-specific, approach - I’m hoping it will be a bit quicker, since it’s a browser-level hack. Proxies, local or not, are a bad idea.

Divide and Ship

Sunday, January 4th, 2004

Word count: 4500

I wrote a real, non-drabble, non-crossover Stargate fic. The muse showed up with the idea last night, after I watched 405 “Divide and Conquer” and Jade requested (and I quote) kissyface. I’m more surprised that I wrote 4,500 words in one day - quite a number of which were good technobabble or dialogue - than that the muse can still ship up a storm. It felt like the good old VOY days, when I was vastly productive (if only of schmoop). Kahless knows I couldn’t sit down and write 4,500 words of Trek in one day, not for love or money.

The story will be up after a brief beta.

She Never Returned

Saturday, January 3rd, 2004

Contest of the day: the Eclipse Design Awards

Today was the last chance to buy cheap T tokens. As of tomorrow the fare goes up 25%. This is the MBTA’s inspired solution to reduced ridership - charge even more! Yet another stunning idea from the city that brought you the Big Dig…

My solution to the fare hike is never to take the T again, if its physically possible to walk. That may sound drastic, but in fact there are relatively few places on the Green Line that you can’t get to faster by walking than by taking the T. (You can’t get a taxi for love or money in this city.)

The Green Line is, in fact, the train on which Charlie found himself trapped in that famous Boston filk to which the title of this entry alludes. He was on his way to JP but he couldn’t pay the exit fare (exit fares still exist on the Braintree line), so he had to ride back and forth between Government Station (formerly Scollay Square) and Arborway (no longer served by trolley) forever.

Believe me, you’d be better off joining Jemima’s Personal MBTA Strike.

The Return of the King

Friday, January 2nd, 2004

…also known as The Return of the Franchise.

When we walked into the theater yesterday, the Faramir Offense was all I remembered of The Two Towers. After a truly stunning number of previews, the Franchise opened with a huge hunk of plot that properly belongs to The Two Towers - for example, Minas Morgul (the glow-in-the-dark one) is the second tower of the eponymous pair.

I should note that there is some debate on this point - see for example the Wikipedia entry for The Two Towers, or Tolkien’s letters on the matter - but canon contains a note at the end of The Fellowship of the Ring specifying Orthanc (Isengard) and Minas Morgul as the towers involved. Other options include Cirith Ungol (the orc tower at the head of the eponymous pass), Minas Tirith, and Barad-dur. Two notable towers not usually considered candidates are the Towers of the Teeth, Narchost and Carchost, guarding the Black Gate in the Morannon and blocking Frodo’s way.

No matter which towers you pick, they belong in The Two Towers. The cliffhanger for the second volume is Sam losing Frodo at Cirith Ungol, not some random Faramir character-assassination in Osgiliath. Pippin Wrestling the Palantir also belongs in TTT, where the palantir does not burst into flames, nor does it levitate.

Why did Peter Jackson choose to defang TTT of its second tower and its punch? The fans may never know. Squeezing half of TTT into the third movie didn’t do it much good, either. As a result, there was no room for the real Denethor, nor the real march across Mordor. The Scouring of the Shire was no great loss - having cut Saruman from the final scene at Orthanc, there was no call to bring him to the Shire. And yet the lack of conflict of any sort after the Really Big Eagles scene made the rest of the movie excruciatingly boring for those who hadn’t read the books.

Before the movie, I hadn’t thought much of Tolkien’s skill at writing a novel. His only successful effort from a purely technical point of view was The Hobbit, and that was a children’s book with an omniscient narrator - which is to say it wasn’t exactly in the form of the modern novel, either. The Lord of the Rings, the most beloved literary work of the 20th century, is not loved for its execution or technical merits. Many people, even some like Veronica who have no particular prejudice against fantasy, cannot even read it - yet Peter Jackson’s flaming-palantir version of LotR has given me a new appreciation for the virtues of the original.

There are three things you must love to love the books: epic, worldbuilding, and language. Only the second, the world of Middle Earth, was fully preserved in the movies. Everyone gushes over the landscapes, the cities, the oliphaunts. Even when it’s wrong or incomplete, it’s still lovely. (I wanted to see Morgul Vale, and not every cliff in the book was quite that sheer a drop. People with a fear of heights should avoid the third movie.)

There are moments of epic beloved of the critics (by “the critics” I mean mainly RJ and Naomi Chana): notably the lighting of the beacons of Gondor (for which we forgive even the huge Denethor character-assassination involved in Pippin’s having to do the honors by his pratfalling self), Pippin’s song sequence, and the charge of the Rohirrim (for which we forgive some incredible military stupidity on their part - don’t any of the good guys have archers?). Most of the failures of the movies also come in the area of epic - specifically an omission of the kind of people you find in epics: Denethor is just a madman, not a tragic figure; Theoden has trouble making up his mind; Eowyn isn’t riding undercover; Arwen has some sort of personal Elvish medical problem with Sauron rather than everyone else’s millennia-long epic struggle problem with Sauron; Gandalf doesn’t respect Pippin’s volunteer service to Denethor; Frodo doesn’t trust Sam; Sam doesn’t give the ring back to Frodo immediately; Gimli wants to cheat the Dead; and so forth and so on.

The heart of the books is language but movies are a visual art - language was doomed to lose out. A few stray lines make their way into the plot, but there’s no way to convey on screen the texture given to the books by the eight or ten languages Tolkien invented for the purpose. This is a difficulty the movies share with translations of the books into foreign languages: Tolkien had already carefully translated both Westron and the language of the Rohirrim into English and it doesn’t bear a second translation well, whether into Spanish or into Peter Jackson. Writers are more fascinated by language than the average reader, so while this loss is great in my accounting it’s not really a significant problem for the movies qua movies.

The world is grey, the mountains old,
The forge’s fire is ashen-cold;
No harp is wrung, no hammer falls:
The darkness dwells in Durin’s halls;
The shadow lies upon his tomb
In Moria, in Khazad-dûm.
But still the sunken stars appear
In dark and windless Mirrormere;
There lies his crown in water deep,
Till Durin wakes again from sleep.

Moving into another medium does mean picking up the problems of that medium - notably, cute people who can’t act. We get reasonably good performances from Gandalf, Elrond, and Pippin, but these only contrast with the problems of Aragorn, Arwen, and Frodo. Maybe it’s the producer who thinks that standing there and looking scruffy/Elven/tortured is enough to sell tickets - and he’d be right. Aragorn and Arwen (and similarly Legolas) can get away with the most here because their characters are just as sketchy in the books - they are part of the epic background, while the hobbits are the more modern, sympathetic viewpoint characters.

Frodo, however, is a huge problem, as I realized while he was standing on the deck of the ship in the Grey Havens, smiling at the shore and looking pretty for the camera. That boy with the baby face was not the 50-year-old Frodo of the books who went looking for the Cracks of Doom, found them, and could not go home again. He was the main character, yet I didn’t care for one minute what happened to Elijah Wood. He was never Frodo to me, especially after he got stabbed on Weathertop and moaned the whole way to Rivendell. Where was his warmth, his intelligence, his endurance, his compassion for Smeagol? Frodo (and in his absence Merry or Pippin) is supposed to be the reader’s linchpin connecting the epic past of Middle Earth to the coming Age of Men, but he doesn’t do that for the movie.

Frodo is not an easy role to play, but another actor might have pulled it off. Pippin, for instance, did hold a nice chunk of RotK together; he also looked the oldest of the four hobbits even though he’s supposed to be the youngest. Merry was underused, and Sam had everything but a proper master. Actors can make or break a movie; Elijah Wood broke The Lord of the Rings. (That is, of course, not his fault but that of the director who cast him.) LotR spiraled apart into a kaliedoscope of pretty scenes because Frodo wasn’t there to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

So my reaction to The Fellowship of the Ring still stands, here at the end of all franchises:

The scenery was wonderful, and the choices of what to cut from the book were not bad choices. However, the choices to rewrite the dialogue, plot and characters were all bad choices - too many to name, but all of them poor indeed. Let me clue the producer in: You’re not J.R.R. Tolkien. You’re not even Christopher Tolkien.

2003 Meme

Thursday, January 1st, 2004

Meteor shower of the day: The Quadrantids

Since everyone’s doing it…

What was one of the best fandom things that happened to you in 2003?

Stargate! If it weren’t for Jerie getting me addicted to Stargate, I’d be out of fandom completely by now. Instead I have a fun new show with snappy dialogue and real sci in the fi - or at least slightly better technobabble than Trek.

What was one of the worst fandom things that happened to you in 2003?

I’m pretty sure there was more Internet Troll activity, or I wouldn’t have written Goodbye Internet Trolls, but like the man said, For you have the troll always with you; but me you have not always. I think the worst thing was how we last few Trek holdouts seemed to give up on fandom this year. ENT hammered the final nail into the coffin of Trek fandom in 2003.

What fandom thing do you want to accomplish in the coming year?

I want to finish my revision of Colony, and maybe dig a few other bits of fic out of the UFO folder for posting. Mainly, though, I want to retire from Trek.

What fandom thing in 2003 do you feel was your greatest accomplishment?

I wrote a couple of Khan filks that are some of my best to date: I Will Revive and Raj of Rage.

What fandom thing that you did in 2003 do you wish you could erase?

I didn’t do enough fandom stuff to regret any of it.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about the same?

I wrote many more drabbles than I expected to produce in a lifetime, but otherwise very little fic. I didn’t write that much last year, either, though, so it’s about the same.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January 2003?

I wrote a drabble in all 5 Trek fandoms, which is 4 more than I ever expected to write in. The Khan obsession also came out of the blue and is all Jerie’s fault.

What’s your favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest.

My favorite story is one I never quite wrote - the true story of Khan. I have bits of it scattered in posted and unposted stories, but the real story is only in my head.

Did you take any writing risks this year? (See above for unexpected pairings, etc.) What did you learn from them?

I don’t believe in “taking risks” or “challenging yourself.” I believe in writing what you want to write when you want to write it. However, most of my perpetual revisions to Colony were made this year for the specific purpose of writing a novel (as opposed to the outline of a novel).

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?

My fanfic goals are to finish Colony and retire from Trek. My profic goals are not nearly so specific - I’m not even sure whether I want to finish a novel this year or just stick to short stories. My all-purpose goal is to find the muse and drag her out of whatever seedy bar she’s holed herself up in. At this point I don’t care if she writes profic or Stargate, just as long as she writes something.

The truth is, I’m in this writing thing for the muse high. When she’s not around, it’s way too much work for my naturally lazy disposition.