Speak Stiltedly and Wear a Yellow Shirt

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The title is Sangerin’s term for the My Friends’ Fandoms meme, inspired by Seema’s response. CGB has a whole list of Stargate responses, but the best one is the Seema’s-eye view of Stargate:

Stargate-1 [sic] — Theirloveissocanon. Sam and Jack are there. Apparently they are in love. Or is it Daniel and Jack? Sam and/or Jack are female. I think. Someone on that show is supposed to be a hussy. They all travel through time and there are aliens because it’s in the future and it’s in space.

So here’s my view of fandom. Complaints should be directed to Seema, who incited this:

• Alias: Like 24 Hours, but it never ends, and people never stop talking about it.
• Angel: It’s a great show except for the title character, who still can’t act. Buffy with a side of evil lawyers.
• Enterprise: Lots of whiny people and angsty fic, all over a show that could be used as a cheap form of anaesthesia in third-world countries.
• Farscape/Firefly: In my mind, these two are the same show. If they were so great, why are they off the air, eh? Eh?
• Harry Potter: A fandom in which every single pairing is equally controversial, even the twincest ones. Oh, and the people who brought us plagiarism.
• Lord of the Rings: Nasty things done to nice hobbits and elves. JRR is spinning in his grave.
• Pirates of the Caribbean: I hope the pirate and the girl get together, because that was the only chemistry in the entire movie.
• Pros: Cop show that’s off the air but never ends. See Alias.
• RPS: Nasty things done to real live people. How do you sleep at night?
• Seachange: Hey, they have TV in Australia! Who would have guessed?
• ville: Where all fans go in the end. Annoying teen superheroes.
• Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Worf and his woman problems, and his Angry Klingon problems, and more of his woman problems. Oh, and Garak/Bashir. Dark and icky, just like the show.
• Star Trek: The Next Generation: Lori is TNG.
• X-Men: Annoying adult superheros. The one-eyed one can’t act.

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