Speak Stiltedly and Wear a Yellow Shirt

Zeroth, First and Second Impressions:

Liz starts out by observing the Deja Vu Phenomenon - Trek series ripping off other Trek series (and Babylon 5, where appropriate). It’s nice to see “Resolutions” in the list; that sleeper of an episode has to be good for something. Otherwise, the Deja Vu is more a TNG thing than a general Trek thing. Like TNG, ENT is competing with TOS on its own turf, so there should be plenty more where this came from.

Summary:

Liz seems to have drifted into another series, so I’ll translate for her: TPTB are evil! Evil I tell you! Don’t get sucked into the T/Tu thing. You know Braga is going to pull an A/T in the series finale. Are you going to waste the next seven years writing masterpieces of T/Tu fic? Walk away now, before you get bitter and old.

Deja Shatner:

Liz, are you complaining that Archer is pawing the ladies and overacting? Trek is TOS, TOS is Trek. Oh, sorry, you said overreacting…never mind then.

Phlox in Sox:

What do you mean Phlox isn’t original? I’m failing to see the Neelix connection here. I think Phlox is his own alien, and the best I’ve seen in a long time. And yes, we need a Phlox episode, or at least some Phlox fic.

T/Tu:

Are you saying Blalock can’t act? I think you’re straying into truisms here. It’s like Jim saying “Chakotay was wooden again this week.” Trek is not about acting; just look what happened when they put a real actor in the role of Seven of Nine - it was the end of the ensemble cast. As long as Blalock remains on the acting level of Shouting Spock, the show has a chance.

And what’s all this about “distinctively Vulcan”? Which of the Vulcans on ENT are distinctively Vulcan? To say she’s poorly written is another truism. The truth is, the writers are flailing around like a squirting garden hose. T’Pol is doomed to be the star, because only aliens, half-aliens and captains can be interesting in Trek.

Someone who is naturally interesting despite his humanity is Tucker, though Liz seems to imply otherwise. He is mid-VOY Tom Paris back from the Delta Quadrant, and I liked him psychotic. But he was still Tucker - there was nothing not nice about him in his psychotic stage. There was nothing very extreme, either - it was the same old anti-Vulcan paranoia. The whole series has been so non-Trek that making Tucker psychotic didn’t change anything. There can be no alien spores for these people, because they’re crazy already.

Unworthy Fanfic:

No, Elizabeth is not in love with T’Pol. Everyone hates T’Pol, and it’s going to be much, much worse in the series finale when she runs off with Archer, leaving Tucker carrying her Pon Farr love-child.

Bow Wow:

Yeah! Porthos! And yes it was a shame about Tom. Why don’t you go read MJB’s Revolution for Tom Paris the way he should have been? I’ll hold down the fort here until you get back…

B Movie:

More truisms here - competent without the flair. And three to four years? Voyager fell apart after three years - oh, wait, that’s the BOFQ time frame. Never mind. But things are going to get worse. The writers are headed straight into a brick wall of the canon past - it’s not going to be little things like when the Borg were first discovered, it’s going to be huge issues like the Vulcans not being Vulcan. In three to four years, you won’t be able to see compence over the wreckage of the Alpha Quadrant. But that’s just doom and gloom.

Theme:

I like the theme. Yes, like everything else in the series, it lacks the Trek look-and-feel, but that VOY intro got old fast. I spent the last two seasons complaining through the flight of Voyager to natty background music - think, just think of how many lines Chakotay could have had if they’d just skipped the interminable VOY intro. The whole forgotten trio of Chakotay, Tuvok and Neelix could have had proper character development in the time they wasted. At least the new intro has pretty pictures - if they’re more inspiring than the show itself, well, that’s Trek.