By Jemima Pereira (
© September 2000
Codes: J/C, challenge
Rating: PG
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Warnings: profanity

The challenge was "Write the same final J/C scene from the POV of the PTB then from the POV of the J/C fans. (Two scenes)."

This parody is protected by the copyright laws of the United States of America. Read 'em and weep, Paramount.

My beta reader tells me I'm very literal.


Scene: the Bridge. Flash to viewscreen - stock footage of DS9. JANEWAY and CHAKOTAY are alone on the bridge, the last to leave the ship.

CHAKOTAY: It's been a pleasure serving uh...with you, Captain.

THE POWER THAT IS (aside): Why can't that damn Chicano remember his lines?

A POWER THAT WAS (aside): His line, you mean. The series finale and you gave the First Officer one line.

TPTI (aside): Put a sock in it, Jeri.

JANEWAY (putting her hand on CHAKOTAY's chest in that warm but entirely chaste Captainly way she has): The pleasure was all mine, Commander. I hope we can do it again sometime.

TPTI: Cut! Kate, you promised me no mugging this season!

MULGREW: Shall we shoot it again?

TPTI: No, leave it. For some reason the fans like to see you overacting and Robert grinning his ass off. OK, everyone, break the set! Thank God it's finally over.

BELTRAN: Amen! So when does the Barbie of Borg movie start filming, Brannon?

TPTI: Get off my set, both of you. Damn actors...

POV of JETCers:

Kerry, Caff and Jade are huddled around a giant projection TV - when it comes to Chakotay's dimples, there's no such thing as too big.

"Shhh, here it comes!" Jade commands the unruly audience.

CHAKOTAY: It's been a pleasure to serve u--

"Under! Under! Under! Say it, Chak!" the JetCers chant.

CHAKOTAY: --with you, Captain.

"His last chance, and he blew it," Kerry moans.

On the screen, a mammoth hand touches The Chest. "Hold on! She's pawing him!"

"Way to go, Janeway!"

JANEWAY (in that husky, come-hither voice we all know and love): The pleasure was all mine.

"You go, girl!"

JANEWAY: I hope we can do it again sometime.

A collective sigh suffuses #jetc. Caff immediately begins an episode addition about a rented holosuite on DS9. Jade and Kerry try to pin down that look in Janeway's eyes when she said 'again'. The Faith lives on.